Victor or Victim

Recently I remembered a conversation I had many years ago. The person I was talking to believed that our past defined who we are now.

Their view point caused quite a reaction within me. I did not like it!

Surely, we can heal, grow and recover.

We are not shackled by our past, or are we?

Most of us have faced hardship. Many of us have been victims in any number of scenarios.

When do we go from being a victim to being a “victim”?

This is what this article is regarding. For a while I have wanted to write about victim mentality yet failed to find the correct words. Now is the time!

What causes a victim to enter victimhood?

Bad things happen. Bad things happen all the time.

We can end up being a victim. Trauma can occur. The healing needs to take place and this takes as long as necessary.

This is not what I am talking about. We are talking about when something happens and it defines who we are- Victimhood. Victimhood is described as the state of being a victim. The belief of being a victim becomes engrained into who we are, our identity and our ego.

Victimhood can has many characteristics.

People stuck in victimhood often seek out recognition for their suffering. This validation from others is to justify the way they feel. They also need the person who they believe are the perpetrators to take responsibility for their wrong doing.

Sadly, they can become blinded by their own pain and suffering. They can be oblivious to other people’s situations and in some cases, they can become the perpetrator themselves. Hurt people- hurt people.

Due to their identity of being a victim, they can feel justified if they hurt others. From their perspective it is acceptable. It generally never is!

Those in victimhood can not stop thinking about the cause of trauma, their pain and suffering. The more they think about it, the more it becomes part of their identity. They would rather seek revenge instead of forgiving.

So how do we transition from victimhood to victor?


In my previous article, Forgiveness I discussed how forgiving is not for a person who may have hurt you. Forgiveness is for you!

Forgiving is to free yourself of all anguish, hate, turmoil and upset that you may feel or experience. 

Forgiveness is freedom. Liberating yourself from the shackles of your past.

Forgiveness is empowerment!

Empowered to make decisions unclouded by negativity.

Do not let your past define who you are now. Free yourself from limitations of the ego.

Empower yourself to live your best life.

Mark- The Alchemist’s Journey

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