Who am I?

It was the morning after a very intense mediation class, I was looking out the window watching the birds feed rather than get ready for work.

For some reason I questioned my identity. My immediate reaction was that I do not have one. This answer sparked an uncertainty but before any fear set in I had another answer come to me- I Just am.

A few years back I had read the book The Impersonal Life by Joseph Benner. This book was to do with the I Am concept.  At the time the book never fully resonated with me.

The answer I received that morning gave me an understanding for now.

If someone was asked to finish the sentence I am …? Whatever the answer is, it is some way they identify themselves.

We all seek an identity. Aspects of how we identify ourselves may be:

  • Occupation
  • Role within family
  • Gender and Sexual orientation
  • Personal attribute i.e. strong, beautiful, intelligent etc.
  • Religious beliefs
  • Spiritual beliefs
  • A sports person or fan of a sports team
  • Political views
  • Citizen of a country
  • Race

Another aspect of how we may identify ourselves is through a crisis that has been experienced. Examples could be a war veteran, cancer survivor, victim of a crime etc. These experiences may have been horrendous but labelling yourself with anything similar could potentially hold you in that energy.

Within the spiritual community people have adopted many labels for themselves too.

All these identities will individualise us as something special or different and/or include us within a group. Why do we need to do this? To feel special! Why do we need to feel special?

Our egos!

What if all these labels are just limitations we have placed upon ourselves?

I believe it’s far more than that. Could our egos be trying to prevent our connection to the universal consciousness?

As we go through life we can invest more in these ideas, ideals and identities. What if something made us question them. How would our egos react?

The breakdown of these ego aspects can cause what is known as the Dark Night of the Soul.  The Dark Night of the Soul is a term used to describe the dissolving of a perceived meaning in life and leaving a deep sense of futility.  This futility is similar to depression but isn’t.  It is important to realise that this stage is only temporary.

This can happen many times and after each time you are closer to your true self.

Rather than this process being difficult and painful, what if we actively dissolve our identities? Could we reach our true selves far quicker?

I am Mark –The Alchemist’s Journey

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