In popular Psychology there is an idea called Transactional Analysis. This was proposed by Eric Berne in 1957.
In Transactional Analysis behaviour and communication is generally from one of three states- Child, Adult and Parent. Often it is represented with this chart-

- The Parent talks down to the Child
- The Child talks back up to the Adult
- Whereas Adults talk as equals.
While much is written on this topic, this is my takings on these ideas.
Child
- Not taking responsibility
- Victim mentality
- Temper tantrums
- Complaining of unfairness
- Not embracing their own power
Parent
- Controlling
- Patronising
- Dismissive
- Judgmental
Adult
- Treating others as equals
- Embracing one’s own power and responsibility
Where these ideas become really interesting is if you apply these ideas from Transactional Analysis to spirituality.
How many people can say they have achieved Spiritual Maturity?
Think about all the common expressions we have. It’s God’s will, he cursed the heavens, for God’s sake and there are many more. We blame God for our problems! Would our actions fit that of the Child State?
Often we can feel victim to higher powers and this is reflected in how we speak about God especially from a religious view point. See the Lord’s Prayer below-
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our sins, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not bring us to the time of trial, but rescue us from the evil one.
God is referred to as our father. If we were to use the Transactional Analysis for our relationship with God
- God talks down to his Children
- His Children talks back up to God in heaven.
We have been brought up to believe we lack power and cannot take responsibility for ourselves. Where is the God within us?
Is God to blame for how our lives are unfolding or should we take personal responsibility?
Is now the time to forgive ourselves for our mistakes and accept these as hard learnt lessons?
Should the aim of our spiritual practises be to embrace our personal power and work towards unity with God?
Every parent needs to let their children grow, while every child needs to mature into adulthood and when this happens they meet as equals.
Mark –The Alchemist’s Journey